Spring Paintings, 1.

i think given we're into march and april we can call these spring rather than winter paintings. . .

so here goes with what we'll call the first of those, given that most of the 'winter' paintings had gestation periods that went back months and months and these were more of the moment - often based around or directly drawn from drawings done during that dark period of october and november, including this first piece.

so. remember this?























. . . from november. and a recap of what i said about it here:

'This one's REALLY sketchy. Mostly I was approaching transferring a vague image I had in my head to paper in a different, more relaxed approach than trying to commit it to the white in very deliberate lines and found that this way came a lot more naturally. While not precisely as I was visualising what I wanted to put on paper, it's a close approximation. And it didn't end with me getting frustrated and scrunching up numerous attempts. . . Mostly with this, I was just determined to have full figures in a drawing. Instead of my old, over-cropped stuff. And again, arhitecture, no matter how vague. . .'

*

it was, undeniably, an image that had stuck before i even drew it and which was going to continue to stick until it was painted. one or two - bronwen and emma spring to mind - have pointed out how familiar the image looks, and i have drawn similar images in the past which i think i'll dig out another day. . . but i think the composition itself was and is very typical of me and the way i make images. put together figures. something i'll be writing a blog about soon. . .

in the meantime, from that drawing and some months later, came this:























now first up, you can see some obvious alterations - the tall mesh fence has been replaced by a smaller more rustic post and wire fence, which makes the base image immediately less foreboding but also breaks the image up a little more nicely. the posts are crooked, unevenly spaced - i thought this and the very pale, sandy ground would be nice in contrast to the solid, dark urban skyline. likewise, the church building has been made less elongated - again, i wanted some degree of contrast between background and foreground, and the figures are pretty elongated, aren't they?

the poses, specifically emma's are also slightly tweaked. the original rough drawing had been hashing an idea out, this was more of a refinement of the original concept i hadn't quite managed to produce in that drawing - so the pose is more graceful and a little more natural.

as i've said a dozen times the last couple of months, having full length figures in my work was something i had to do, and had to get used to - and i think this one came out really nicely. proportionately, it's her. which i sometimes find hard to achieve - i think i have this subconscious programming to draw and to paint women in particular proportions, and having spent a few years drawing and painting curvier women, going onto a model who couldn't be more petite doesn't really come naturally. to quote sarah, 'she's teeny weeny!'

anyhow. the birdman figure has also been given more to do. instead of being a shadowy half-drawn mess off to one side, he's a part of. . . whatever's going on (imaginations people, use them), even if only as a spectator. his darker clothing keeps the very colourful arc the other two figures make unbroken.

at a little larger than A3 this is a smaller piece than those i've been painting, and also came a little more naturally. it was painted entirely in acrylics - some colours straight from the tube, such as the grass - which as ever, made its completion a lot less drawn out. there is even some matallic silver paint in there, which. . is a first.

it's not finnicky and i didn't strive to make it 'perfect' as i'd once have done, but i like it - what more can i say?

Drawings 2010, 2.

*sigh*

if you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding. how can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat, people? hmm?

so. one year on and my supergirl, my little blonde firecracker continue our journey, and this year so far a few blank canvasses have gone the way of the other paintings thus far - long gestation times - but my propensity to churn out loose drawings or spend hours upon finnicky ones has remained pretty consistent. . .

what's new, or one of the things that IS new is the very process of working which has altered dramatically. the newfound habit of messy ink drawings hashed out to try and capture fleeting ideas and compositions has given me a kind of focus that's led to MORE paintings being STARTED on confident footing. . . even IF they're still taking forever because of one thing or another. . .

anyway. the following is a second portion of drawings, all favourites from around february.




6.






















similar to #4, though even more 'finished' in one way, and the one i prefer of the two (emma prefers #4), i think it's just more emma. like #3, again there were areas so heavily worked on that the paper was almost ready to tear, and like #1, this one's kind of all about defining shape, the shape of her nose and lips and eyes. again, it's a bit of a preparatory for a painting along with #1, which i'll be posting soon. . .



7.























this by comparison is more of a sketch. and stylised. if i'd gotten anything out of winter aside from those i've already listed, it was kind of a re-awoken desire for context in my pieces and i began - as you've seen in a couple of other drawings - to draw cafe scenes and to get back into looking at people like edward hopper again. plotting. so we get things like tables, cups and backgrounds and other figures starting to appear rather than flat space.

as a sidenote, emm finds my constant artistic license regarding the length of her hair hilarious. why do i sometimes draw it long and sometimes short? the simple answer is i don't really know. i kind of go with what feels right for a specific image, so sometimes it being short and layered looks better. it's a bit idiosyncratic, i know, but most things about me are. some days i take sugar in my coffee, sometimes sugar and milk, sometimes just black. . .

*shrug*



8.























and THIS one's even sketchier, but is a very good example of what i was just saying about context. background. details. a year ago i'd just neve rhave drawn something like this - but i love this, regardless of its sketchiness and the fact you'd never say 'that's really great', it is what it is and it captures some fragment of my life, complete with desk, cabinets, computer, bookcase, framed comic books on the wall, action figures, headphones. . . and emma. what she's pointing at and saying is entirely open for interpretation, though. you can use your imagination there. . .



9.
























and this one. . . is another of those fantastically enjoyable sharpie drawings that on its own is - to me at least - brilliant enough in what it captures and says in the simplest of ways, but. . . i liked it so much i went on to do THIS:



10.
























which i don't think needs any commentary. i. . . love this one with a passion, for obvious reasons, but beyond that it just captures so much in such an honest way. i'm very proud of this one. . .

and that's your lot for now

-iain

Winter Paintings, 1.

alright,

correspondence from migraineville - it's been an age.

first off - thanks, guys. one and all for. . . well, for making me feel more okay about posting all this stuff than i expected to, or otherwise would do. after a decade out of art school, a huge chunk of which i was creatively inactive, i feel pretty self-conscious about my work and posting it's sort of a big deal. putting it out there rather than keeping it hidden away being seen by just myself. and emm. who pretty much remains both muse, and boot up my ass when i'm procrastinating or stuck in a rut.

i have a fair bit of work to post still before we're up to date and i'm posting 'current' pieces, but fortunately the 'current' pieces are taking so long that it'll be some time before those are posted anyway. which allows me to spread this stuff out. i could post stuff everyday, but that would be kind of like being bombarded with imagery rather than given time to look at it in bite-sized pieces.

so. posting these was something i didn't want to do in the middle of all those drawings, although i'll be posting my painted stuff from the latter half of last year (not much, given events) one at a time, and posting more drawings between. an entry of a painting, then some drawings, then another painting - capisce?

okay. shall we start then?:

this first piece is, as most of my work is, untitled but has the subtitle 'visible forms'. it's another of those anomalies, a painting that was FIRST started last MAY in it's original very linear form. it was along the lines of those 'ode' paintings. black and white, and i think you can visualise it like that even now. . . but - it just was NOT coming together.

it lay abandoned for some months until the fall when i approached it again, sanded it down a fair bit and began working over the original image in colour, initially planning to paint BOTH figures in the same more realistic palette. and then i got stuck again. weeks later when i went back to it with the idea to carry on, the events of october happened, and with it the spontaneous decision to essentially paint over the birdman character and have him suggested rather than defined.

paint was allowed to dribble, and smear.

from that point on, the painting more or less formed. areas were left incredibly rough and unformed - a patch of canvas where i was mixing fleshtones can be seen on the left side LEFT as it was rather than hidden, and the result is again - maybe - the sense of figure standing in front of something two dimensional. she's standing in front of a very abstract, textural painting of the birdman rather than the birdman himself. . .

oh, and again, these figures are life-sized. i do like working big.

it's not perfect, and there are areas i will correct at a later date, but there's far more i like about what is essentially a painting that was abandoned not once but twice. for now it's set aside to rest, and is posted here as a start.

Winter, 2.

Alrighty then,

Much delayed follow up to that last post, mostly procrastination on my part and the usual headaches, literal and otherwise.

Again, these are a mixed bunch. Selections from the big pile - Some sketches, some little more than doodles and others more refined than a lot of the preceding stuff I'd been churning out. Variations on repeated themes and images, further attempts to incorporate more of a background as well as full figures into images. Again, some of these images show up in later drawings and at least one painting, more refined. Those you'll see, in time. . .

You can view these as a continuation of a period where I was back enjoying the simple process of sitting and drawing without ever getting critical about what I was doing. Just taking my time, trying things, seeing what I could come up with. . .



9-11.

Like #5 & #6, these are a rough ink drawing that serves as kind of a try-out or rough for - i this case - two pencil drawings, variations of the same poses and composition, though both feel very different, emotionally speaking. These are two of four or five, incidentally. This was an image that I was a little obsessed with capturing in JUST the right way, and these two drawings are essentially my favourites of the bunch.







































12 & 13.

Again, same concept - Pen drawing and then a more refined second drawing, in this case done in a mix of pen and pencil. While still fairly rough, as with #10 & #11, I love the resulting image, the composition, the feel of it. It says what I want it to say which no amount of finnickiness ever could.




























14.

There's almost nothing to this sketch, but I love it. Real indie comic book splash-page composition.


















15.

Again, there's pretty much nothing to this small doodle. And it is little more than a doodle. But again, I love it. A more polished, finished painted version of this composition I'll post at a later date.
















16.

Done around the same time as #15, again there's very little to this one. It was just an idea, an image I had in my head I wanted to get down on paper. I like this. It's not great, but it looks unlike anything else I've drawn and has a certain dynamism to it that I find appealing.
















17.

Again - imperfect, but I love this image, and it's one I'd had in my head for a long, long time but never put down on paper before this, but which I went on to do more versions of. Yes it's a little goofy, and the birds are stylised rather than realistic, but. . . *shrug*
















18.

Another Sharpie begins its slow death with this one, which I utilised by using the smudgey inklessness to express texture, using a new pen on parts like the coat to make them stand out. This, again, is an image that spawned variation after variation but again, was me pushing myself to include architecture, perspective and whole figures. well, at least ONE. I'm extremely fond of this one, particularly the depiction of Emm which I think is one of the best I've done of her.
















19.

And #18 could be said to have spawned this drawing, another favourite of mine. I love this. Again, it's not perfect but I care very little about perfection anymore.

Emm, Edinburgh, Forbidden Planet - a very full drawing with a background, foreground and even stuff in the middle. Architecture, at least one full figure - shadowy or not - This was sort of a breakthrough. The beginnings of one, at least. Through which much of my long lost confidence started to slowly rebuild itself.

None of which would have happened without all that had happened in the weeks before, I think. I don't know. . .















. . . More next time.

opoponax, 3.

. . . i think i'll skip a large chunk of the rest. the stuff following on from that last batch into, well, i think its direction was fairly clear. and i feel more negative about posting that stuff today than otherwise, so. . .

another time, maybe. but probably not. anyway. . .

these eleven images are kind of representational of the end of that dark period. we're into november now - the lines are less gnarly, have taken on a different quality altogether in places and there's a definite narrative going on from one image to the next - though we're looking at selections here, not the whole pile - i think you can pretty much see the tension ebbing away. . .

also, yonder pajama wearing skeleton has become something more fully formed than the inky mess that first manifested. . .



34.

this is somewhat out of place in a way, a pencil drawing amongst all that solid black and white, but i wanted to post this because i like it, and because, like previously, backgrounds are creeping into my stuff in the form of interiors as WELL as exterior scenery, as seen here in the shape of, well, my kitchen. this was fast and done with more or less the same ethic as the ink drawings had been done with - don't worry about portraying what you see so much as what you feel. so while it's slight as drawings go in one sense, it's another step somewhere new. . .
















35 & 36.

35 is sort of an anomally. the birdman figure was an abandoned piece from weeks earlier which i just randomly looked at one evening and said 'this needs another figure', which kind of went against my newfound habit of doing the drawings, leaving them and doing something else. a few corrections were made - which i regret now because they stick out like a sore thumb - in white ink, and a more straightforward self-portrait was added. i think. . . this is one of those pieces that has a narrative undercurrent, which 36 carries on with. 36 is noteable for being botha little less stylised, and for the fact that it was done in my trusty sharpie's - the second, actually - death throes. . .


























37.

this one's open for interpretation, but even i don't know what's going on in it. i love this, though, mopstly for small things like emma's hair, my general dishevelled appearance - and the first appearance of the new suit and tie MASKLESS birdman look - the positioning of the fence, compositionally and by no means last or least, our skeletal oddball looking. . . well, skeletal. . . again though, definite narrative suggestion here. that illustration degree not going completely to waste, then . . .
















38 - 40.

a mixed bag of stylized, random goofiness - 38 - further exploration of cityscape backgrounds and composition - 39 - and looser scratcvhing around with a new sharpie, seeing what can be come up with on one very white sheet of A4. i think by this point i'd become equally fond of that damn skeleton and the fully realised owl mask, but eprhaps even more fond of the medium itself. . .






































41.

there's almost nothing to this. i don't think it could be any more minimal - and yet, i don't think i could love it any more than i do. . .
















42.

the final three images - for today at least - are completely random and polar. i don't think they could be more different from each other. this one, i think, is a favourite of mine from a small pile of mask drawings i did around this time kind of. . playing around with how the character had looked and how i wanted him to go. i'm not sure why this one stands out for me, i just like the lines. . .
















43.

bizarre that my hand should ever draw such a thing. do i necessarily like this? no. but the oddness of me drawing it lends its right to a place here. it's another small part of where we're going. this is kind of a landmark of ugly dundee architecture, a tower building belonging to the universtity which. . shows up less stylised in the background of at least one later piece you'll see. . . soon enough. . .

















44.

. . . needs no commentary, explanation, or words of any kind.

Opopanax, 1.

. . . and so, we begin.

i'll scatter these black and white drawings between two posts. possibly three. they're by no means ALL of what was produced, more a summary, sometimes randomly selected from piles of what amounts to very similar images. . .

obviously these are difficult to verbally summarise in any way other than describing them as being produced very physically, sometimes frenziedly. you can kind of read my moods and different points of the great low i was falling into by how linear or non-linear the images get, the line quality, so on. . .

they're not aesthetically very nice to look at, and they may technically be all over the place but they. . . well, they performed a necessary buffer. an outlet. and certainly they could be called personal. though hoinestly, i'm posting them as much to put that whole era behind me as anything else. what evolves out of this visceral near-ugliness is, toi me, better than what existed before it, artistically. . .

anyway. this bunch do fall into categories though. i think maybe more of a directors commentary is needed this time around than liner notes. . .



1-4.

. . . if something bad's starting to go down, and you feel helpless or worried it's supposedly helpful to distract yourself. these were drawn during an afternoon where my mother's condition, thought initially to be a bad dose of food poisoning got worse. and worse. and worse, until she was ambulanced into hospital, completely delirious.

attempting to distract myself, i drew. the first two drawings you can see a jump in style - my mood shifted down a notch. i attempted to focus more, rather than drawing randomly - i had an idea for a painting i wanted to do and the composition was in my head but i couldn't quite get it onto paper on top of being in a self-critical mood and my state of mind got increasingly mroe anxious, which. . . i think shows. there were more drawings, now long destroyed, that were along the same lines so to speak. the same old same old. but it was an afternoon of nothing coming out looking 'right', something that was about to be pretty much abandoned. the painting i was struggling to lay down a composition for, incidentally, i'll post two or three entries down the line - it got there, eventually.













































5-7.

three remnants of the next couple of days attempts to draw, which mostly ended up scrunched balls of paper strewn from one end of the floor to another and produced during a couple of completely sleepless nights. my mother's condition worsened., the words swine flu were thrown into the mix. her delerium got worse.

in the case of #5, i had almost, almost managed to calm my anxiety stricken brain enough to distraction and produce a drawing - in the thinner pen - that looked good, and then it went wrong. i think i screwed up the mouth, something i'm prone to doing - and pretty much ATTACKED the paper with a black sharpie. 6 and 7 could be said to have been done in the same manner, as were others, which i won't post because. . . well, you get the idea. and these are more linear examples.






































8-9.

more 'remnants', survivors of paper-massacres that didn't end up scrunched up on the floor. as things remained grim, i carried on trying not so much to take myself out of the situation as to find an outlet that wasn't, well, jumping out of the window. and while i continued with the scratchy sharpie and sometimes liquid ink, and usually destroyed the fruits of my labours, i began to loosen up the 'attacking the paper' a little. not a lot, but a little. these are sort of significant in that they're the beginnings of something that develops later on, just as 3 & 4 led to a finished piece of work, these planted a seed or two. . .

























10 & 11.

again, remnants, one marginally less loose than the other more. i did loads of these, and just picked two at random from the pile.


























12 - 15.

these, i don't even remember doing, and again they're very stark but some of the imagery, again, will be repeated later on in a more conscious manner. these also mark the first utterly random appearance of the very odd, thus far unnamed pajama wearing skeleton. make of him what you will. . .














































16 & 17.

these are random survivors of a drawing session done late into that first week my mother was in hospital, the remainders of which could be said to be a bit more like #10 and #11, but these stand out from this particular bunch. i should also note that all of these drawings are AS they appear on the paper, compositionally speaking. i think i had sort of. . . stoppsed caring about whether pieces of what i was drawing got chopped off by the edges of teh paper by this point. in fact i was just putting pen to paper and drawing with very little thought beforehand, a rather new concept given my habit of sitting staring at blank paper / canvas for minutes at a time before producing a single mark. some part of HOW i had worked to this point was no longer working. . .



























18.













and finally for this batch, further development of what i first scrawled in #8 and #9 with that mishapen and messy, vaguely birdish mask starting to become somthing very specific, the heart-shaped face of an owl.

and again, this goes soemwhere in time. . .

by this point, a lot of tension had been eased, things were begionning to still, and i think the more controlled - though still loose by my usual standards - line kind of expresses that. . .

anyway. further down the iceberg's tip next time. . .

Leftovers.

. . . . right.

so where to begin. the start, i guess. dozens upon dozens of pieces to upload and post that tell some kind of a story of going through a dark period last october into november, drawings for the most part but which - i think - don't necessarily make for easy viewing.

someone you love deeply almost dying kind of has. . . an adverse reaction on your work. and work into that other things going on at the same time - they were some pretty dark times. 'pretty' pictures' are not made on darker days. . .

thus, we'll begin with some leftovers - some rescans, some unposted stuff, some from as early as last spring, a couple of others from early october. before, you could say. . . and again, some i like, some i'm posting because emma - the subject, as ever - likes them, and some are better than others. . .

a note - i work from my imagination. i don't use photographs, i don't draw from life. i used to do both, but, especially working from photographs for a few years led me to a place where i became VERY dependant upon reference material and when it came to drawing from the top of my head, once my favourite way to work, i became overly critical of everything i produced, and that. . . bled into my other work. the decision to NOT work from source material has pros and cons - sometimes for example, the likeness of a person is lost a little in favour of capturing more some essence of them. i couldn't say whether that's a pro or a con, it's just something that is. some of what i do comes off very stylised, some doesn't. my brain decides. it's. . . i think, as honest a way to draw, or paint as there is.

so. some of it is better than others. but even the weaker stuff has elements i like. as you'll see when everything 'kicks off' in the next entry, the aesthetic goal of everything looking 'right' sort of goes out of the window in favour of expressive, visceral purging. and it does very much become about imagination, and abandoning old, finnicky, realist habits. . .

these, meanwhile, mostly speak for themselves, though some liner notes might be helpful. i'll post those at the end.






































































































































































































'liner notes':

1- the 'very short-haired emma' drawing is an oldie. about a year ago she had her hair cut almost - but not quite - that short, something she immediately regretted and fortunately her hair grows almost freakishly fast, the progression of which can be seen over the course of the other drawings, although it's often hard to put older stuff in chronological order because i - to appease her unease over how short her hair was - more often than not drew her with LONGER hair. . .

2- the dark, inky 'sleeping emma' piece that follows is one of my favourite pieces from last year. acrylic/ink on board, this kind of thing i feel i'm 'in my element', it's messy and loose in places (okay, most of it) and then finnicky in others like the hair. i also really liked that wing / shadow because it could be either, but wouldn't have worked with the usual, standard owl's wing. and more on owls, later. . .

3- the single, colour piece is me messing around with watercolours, not especially liking it and then inking lines over the whole thing. and yes, i know her head is disproportionately large. her head isn't that big in real life, i promise. i should also point out that she doesn't wear that cardigan ALL the time. i'm just especially fond of it. . .

4- the three panel piece. this is from the 'book of emma' and dates back to about the same time as a similar, almost comic book page. i like this a lot, even though as emma pointed out before i was even finished drawing the thing, the third panel looks more like sarah from 'chuck', which we'd not long watched. that's the subconscious for you. some you win, some you lose. . .

5- ears. some of those are emma's, some of them are mine. and some of them are composites. i was clearly a bit OCD that particular day.

. . . and the last two were the last two done BEFORE everything went. . . dark. the humour and prettiness of these is all but missing from what follows.

so these were as good a place as any to begin all this again . . .